8.28.2011
8.06.2011
8.03.2011
8.01.2011
thursday
i saw a pre-screening of miranda july's new movie at sfmoma and i really loved it. it is hilarious and devastating. "she somehow figured out how i feel and made a movie about it" is what you'll probably say if you see this movie. she was there for the screening and there was a q&a afterwards and she talked about wanting to find out what's underneath boredom and what's underneath longing and that's something i think about for like 90 percent of my day everyday, so it was exciting to hear her say that. here's a blurry picture of her:
7.28.2011
7.27.2011
7.25.2011
5.08.2011
EVERYONE IS A WIZARD EXCEPT YOU
by now it makes sense to assume
that you've been stood up again
at shooters on a wednesday night
the BEER sign lighting your tragedies
it makes sense to assume that no one else
has ever been stood up at shooters on a wednesday
and also that every one else is at home
acting out loving wizard role play in their bedrooms
and you are the loneliest. there is evidence.
look at all the wizard couples in olive garden, for example
it makes sense to assume that everything you've imagined
is an empty balloon
with no note tied to it, no messages from another world
and no phone ringing when you get home
and you are out of cigarettes and the couple next door
is casting love spells on each other and playing with the cat
you are gently spinning on one thread
taped to the moon and holding you just above the ground
by now it makes sense to assume that no one will notice your graceful arc
and that the moon is shining but no one is looking
that you've been stood up again
at shooters on a wednesday night
the BEER sign lighting your tragedies
it makes sense to assume that no one else
has ever been stood up at shooters on a wednesday
and also that every one else is at home
acting out loving wizard role play in their bedrooms
and you are the loneliest. there is evidence.
look at all the wizard couples in olive garden, for example
it makes sense to assume that everything you've imagined
is an empty balloon
with no note tied to it, no messages from another world
and no phone ringing when you get home
and you are out of cigarettes and the couple next door
is casting love spells on each other and playing with the cat
you are gently spinning on one thread
taped to the moon and holding you just above the ground
by now it makes sense to assume that no one will notice your graceful arc
and that the moon is shining but no one is looking
4.28.2011
maybe something will happen like
a ceiling fan
will fall from the ceiling!
and you'll turn to the guy next to you
and say something like
whoa
and he'll say yeah, i know.
and you'll feel like a cat that has run into a fire hydrant
on accident
something else could happen too like
there could be a fire in your building!
and while you're huddled with your neighbors outside
watching your building burn to the ground
you could turn to your neighbor and say
wow that was a close one
and he'll take off his sunglasses
and look you in the eyes
for the first time ever
but the worse thing that could happen is
you could be stuck behind a couple making out
on an airplane.
and you'll feel like a load of laundry
that gets washed but still smells weird
and you'll feel like the moon shining bright
but no one is looking
and you'll feel like an incredibly beautiful woman
at the bottom of the ocean
a ceiling fan
will fall from the ceiling!
and you'll turn to the guy next to you
and say something like
whoa
and he'll say yeah, i know.
and you'll feel like a cat that has run into a fire hydrant
on accident
something else could happen too like
there could be a fire in your building!
and while you're huddled with your neighbors outside
watching your building burn to the ground
you could turn to your neighbor and say
wow that was a close one
and he'll take off his sunglasses
and look you in the eyes
for the first time ever
but the worse thing that could happen is
you could be stuck behind a couple making out
on an airplane.
and you'll feel like a load of laundry
that gets washed but still smells weird
and you'll feel like the moon shining bright
but no one is looking
and you'll feel like an incredibly beautiful woman
at the bottom of the ocean
3.28.2011
my favorite thing that i saw on the internet today
i think my friend darah might be my favorite photographer. this is her daughter guthrie, who is my favorite guthrie.
3.02.2011
2.08.2011
1.26.2011
name this artist
this is a hilarious installation i saw at the MCA yesterday. does anyone know who the artist is? i ran out of the gallery because i couldn't stop laughing and felt dumb.
also, she was saying "i know what you're thinking, i know what you're thinking," in a menacing tone. it is so funny. for some reason though, the other people in the gallery weren't laughing at this awesome joke.
and in other news, the "new chicago comics" exhibit was really good. i'm excited for anders nilsen's full compilation of "Big Questions"--coming out from Drawn and Quarterly this spring.
1.18.2011
poetic review of 'keeping up with the kardashians' season 5
This show is so good. its keeps me entertained and always up to date with the stuff they were and do. if i were to have a life like that i were to do everything they were doing i loved it and if any upcoming episodes or seasons i will watch and rate and in this season i can honestly say that this is one of the best shows i have ever seen in my whole life and and i am just saying that i think you guys will love it to it is very cool styelish and optamistic all of you guys should watch it
12 out of 16 netflix members found this review helpful.
12 out of 16 netflix members found this review helpful.
1.12.2011
potential light catastrophe
uhhh accidentally left my lightbox on for an hour and a half. what do you think will happen to me?
a. glowing orb of light for a head
b. give birth to the sun's baby
c. nothing, because lightboxes don't do anything
a. glowing orb of light for a head
b. give birth to the sun's baby
c. nothing, because lightboxes don't do anything
1.11.2011
1.10.2011
"hey mom...guess who's going to JAIL"
feeling hateful / tired / all i want to do is watch keeping up with the kardashians on netflix instant play. i'm on season 3 now. i just saw the episode where khloe goes to jail but then doesn't go to jail.
12.13.2010
snowy
here's some snow from today. i was doing dishes in the background. i don't know what that song is. i was listening to the internet.
11.30.2010
11.17.2010
sexiest ghost alive
i just watched an hour long special about people magazine's sexiest man alive because i'm tired and none of the other channels are getting reception. it was so boring. guess what wouldn't be boring? a show about sexiest ghosts or sexiest trees or sexiest walls. they could interview someone with objectum sexuality, like the woman that fell in love with the berlin wall, and then ask her to rate her top 25 sexiest walls, and then show pictures and have her explain what she likes about each wall. then i would be fascinated and entertained instead of bored.
ladies, am i right?
ladies, am i right?
10.31.2010
i am a cinematographer
i made this video with my co-workers last week when we went on a retreat to mendocino, california. my boss owns an inn there and we stayed in beautiful cabins and made a video. and i got to record some of the scenes, fulfilling my approximately 3-month long dream of being a camera man. the video is about a dying software that you probably haven't heard of, but the themes of love and loss are universal. it's totally kafka-esque. you can also see me briefly acting ridiculous near the end. i want to make another video immediately.
10.29.2010
another'n
matthew IV
matthew, do you like the song about the little girl
who disobeyed her mother so her mother
hit her with a shovel and buried her but
the little girl's little arm came out
from under the earth
and she shook her little fist
and the mother hit the little arm with a shovel
but the little girl's little arm came out
from under the earth
and she shook her little fist
and the mother hit the little arm
hit the little arm with a shovel
and the little girl's little arm didn't rise a third time
and the little girl obeyed and was dead.
is that what you were singing this morning
when you woke up and there was sun
when you woke up without me and there was sun
and i was waking up to the sun too
matthew, do you like the song about the little girl
who disobeyed her mother so her mother
hit her with a shovel and buried her but
the little girl's little arm came out
from under the earth
and she shook her little fist
and the mother hit the little arm with a shovel
but the little girl's little arm came out
from under the earth
and she shook her little fist
and the mother hit the little arm
hit the little arm with a shovel
and the little girl's little arm didn't rise a third time
and the little girl obeyed and was dead.
is that what you were singing this morning
when you woke up and there was sun
when you woke up without me and there was sun
and i was waking up to the sun too
10.28.2010
some matthew poems
matthew
you have a fly in your hair
you have many flies in your hair
i feel weird!
i know a group of three birds that travel together everywhere with their beaks open
the third one looked at me once
what is the lifespan of a sparrow and who are its predators
i feel sure you know this
a man on a bicycle just rode by
i don’t know any groups of three bicyclists that travel everywhere together
but i was once bitten by a horsefly for hours
matthew II
it is good that your computer makes sounds like the ocean
do you think we could start the big rip?
we have never met and you
are on a different continent but still
there is a bicycle hanging in the air
are you gone?
i have a porch kind of. well really
it’s stairs that lead to a door
but when you sit on the stairs
it’s a porch
whatever you say you are
is what you are
matthew III
is 800 euros a lot
if it is a lot you should put it in your shoe
put it in your shoe anyway, actually
are you gone
you have a fly in your hair
you have many flies in your hair
i feel weird!
i know a group of three birds that travel together everywhere with their beaks open
the third one looked at me once
what is the lifespan of a sparrow and who are its predators
i feel sure you know this
a man on a bicycle just rode by
i don’t know any groups of three bicyclists that travel everywhere together
but i was once bitten by a horsefly for hours
matthew II
it is good that your computer makes sounds like the ocean
do you think we could start the big rip?
we have never met and you
are on a different continent but still
there is a bicycle hanging in the air
are you gone?
i have a porch kind of. well really
it’s stairs that lead to a door
but when you sit on the stairs
it’s a porch
whatever you say you are
is what you are
matthew III
is 800 euros a lot
if it is a lot you should put it in your shoe
put it in your shoe anyway, actually
are you gone
9.20.2010
9.01.2010
bus stop conversation
i have had lots of conversations at bus stops lately with men who are probably nice and mean well (maybe?) but make me feel uncomfortable regardless. here is the one from tonight.
--(man) is this the bus? have you been waiting long?
--(me) yeah i have, actually. it should be here soon.
--good, i need to get home.
--yeah.
--what were you listening to?
--oh...(embarrassed)...beyonce.
--oh yeah, she's my sexy singer.
--......yeah.
--that's like that single ladies song, right?
--yeah, that's right.
--do you know that song, she's like a wolf?
--no, i don't think so.
--it's by s. she's like a wolf.
--oh, she wolf? shakira.
--yeah, i love the way she dance! i like to see her body. i'm surprised my girlfriend lets me watch her videos. when i see her dance, i think of my girlfriend's body, dancing like her. i think of my girlfriend's body and her voice.
--......ha......yeah.
--my girlfriend and i are getting married next year. we've been together ten years. we're going to have an anniversary.
--congratulations, that's great.
--she got me this (pulls out an mp3 player). i love it. you ever seen one of these?
--yeah, that's a nice one.
--my girlfriend put it in the computer, and there the songs are. i was impressed. she put 44 songs on it. all kinds of music.
--that's very cool.
--you need to get smaller headphones like these (points to ear buds, then my giant headphones)
--oh, i don't really like ear buds.
--see how it looks? (shows me mp3 player screen, with song titles) you know the song all shook up?
--yeah.
--you know the song always?
--no, i don't think so.
--here, listen to it. (inches closer and gives me his earbuds)
--no, that's ok.
--oh i meant, you can plug your own headphones in it and listen to it. i don't bite.
--oh......do you really want me to?
--yeah, i want you to know what song it is.
--ok. (plug in my headphones. recognize it immediately as a song from the '80s. take headphones off.) oh yeah, i know that song. it's from the '80's.
--you know that song?
--yeah.
--what do you think of when you hear that song?
--umm...the '80s, i guess.
--do you think of romance? because i have to find a good romantic song for my girlfriend's anniversary, so we can dance across the floor in a smooth way.
--yeah, that would be a good one. (inches closer and i back up into the bus stop sign)
--what's your name?
--kathryn. (we shake hands).
--i'm robert. you're so nice and young and beautiful.
--......thanks.
--halloween's coming up!
--yeah.
--it's going to be scary! you know that exorcist movie coming out? that's scary. you know freddy?
--yeah, i don't like horror movies. i never watch them.
--no freddy?
--no.
--jason?
--no.
--christine?
--no, i've never heard of that.
--you never heard of christine? it's about a car that drives around with no one in it. and it kills people.
--haha, no i don't know that one.
--well then, you'll like this one. the car.
--is that a movie?
--yeah, it's called the car.
--is it about a car that kills people?
--yeah. monday is labor day. are you going to be free?
--oh, i'm going to indiana to visit my family.
--all the way to indiana? michael jackson is from there, you know.
--yeah.
THE BUS COMES, THE END.
--(man) is this the bus? have you been waiting long?
--(me) yeah i have, actually. it should be here soon.
--good, i need to get home.
--yeah.
--what were you listening to?
--oh...(embarrassed)...beyonce.
--oh yeah, she's my sexy singer.
--......yeah.
--that's like that single ladies song, right?
--yeah, that's right.
--do you know that song, she's like a wolf?
--no, i don't think so.
--it's by s. she's like a wolf.
--oh, she wolf? shakira.
--yeah, i love the way she dance! i like to see her body. i'm surprised my girlfriend lets me watch her videos. when i see her dance, i think of my girlfriend's body, dancing like her. i think of my girlfriend's body and her voice.
--......ha......yeah.
--my girlfriend and i are getting married next year. we've been together ten years. we're going to have an anniversary.
--congratulations, that's great.
--she got me this (pulls out an mp3 player). i love it. you ever seen one of these?
--yeah, that's a nice one.
--my girlfriend put it in the computer, and there the songs are. i was impressed. she put 44 songs on it. all kinds of music.
--that's very cool.
--you need to get smaller headphones like these (points to ear buds, then my giant headphones)
--oh, i don't really like ear buds.
--see how it looks? (shows me mp3 player screen, with song titles) you know the song all shook up?
--yeah.
--you know the song always?
--no, i don't think so.
--here, listen to it. (inches closer and gives me his earbuds)
--no, that's ok.
--oh i meant, you can plug your own headphones in it and listen to it. i don't bite.
--oh......do you really want me to?
--yeah, i want you to know what song it is.
--ok. (plug in my headphones. recognize it immediately as a song from the '80s. take headphones off.) oh yeah, i know that song. it's from the '80's.
--you know that song?
--yeah.
--what do you think of when you hear that song?
--umm...the '80s, i guess.
--do you think of romance? because i have to find a good romantic song for my girlfriend's anniversary, so we can dance across the floor in a smooth way.
--yeah, that would be a good one. (inches closer and i back up into the bus stop sign)
--what's your name?
--kathryn. (we shake hands).
--i'm robert. you're so nice and young and beautiful.
--......thanks.
--halloween's coming up!
--yeah.
--it's going to be scary! you know that exorcist movie coming out? that's scary. you know freddy?
--yeah, i don't like horror movies. i never watch them.
--no freddy?
--no.
--jason?
--no.
--christine?
--no, i've never heard of that.
--you never heard of christine? it's about a car that drives around with no one in it. and it kills people.
--haha, no i don't know that one.
--well then, you'll like this one. the car.
--is that a movie?
--yeah, it's called the car.
--is it about a car that kills people?
--yeah. monday is labor day. are you going to be free?
--oh, i'm going to indiana to visit my family.
--all the way to indiana? michael jackson is from there, you know.
--yeah.
THE BUS COMES, THE END.
8.30.2010
look at these dark pictures
the daddy's release party tonight at the hideout was off the tank (that's an expression i made up, don't worry, you are not not cool for not knowing it). everyone that read was really great. i am being earnest. every single person. off the tank.
the reading starred: zach dodson (non-mustached host), john jodzio, jac jemc, mary hamilton, aaron burch, amelia gray, blake butler, lindsay hunter's dad, and lindsay hunter. amelia gray shouted an amy tan manifesto. jac jemc made word lace. blake was brilliant as always. lindsay hunter...she's so great. i am super pumped about her sweet tank book.
sometimes, it feels exciting to live in chicago.
and now here are some dark pictures that i took with my camera phone even though i had a real camera, because i just prefer bad photographs. you will learn to like it.
8.23.2010
works of genius by d.j. HeckRight
featuring: megan martin, me, andrea rexilius. those are our voices (and poems). the rest is john heckman wright's madness.
8.20.2010
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