the secret

when should i tell him that i’m only slightly human?
i tried sending him a photograph but he mistook me for a shed.

i walk around, feeling human.

maybe more miserable than most--cars are always trying to hit me.
is there a human under that pile, certainly not!

but look, i have arms. i am like a human that has arms.
i am like a human that has arms but with a face torn off by a chimp

and buried under a pile of dirty laundry and litter.
but look, my heart beats outside my chest, it beats like a heart.

i have tried taking out my eyes to examine them and failed.
i have been a quiet ball of hair and teeth since before birth, i was born.

some have admired my hair.
once a girl stared at me at length and then said “you’re pretty,”

i will never know what she meant. this is mystery.

has there been a human born with no bones, or with a shovel for a face?
i am this human.

i wait all day for him to come over and he forgets.
i forget sometimes too, like a human i have memory and blankness.

when there is enough light in my eye i sleep and in my sleep
i am only slightly human and i give up.

postcards from new life

bestie megan martin has writings and speakings up at word riot. look at it, she's cool.

here's my favorite postcard:

After Many Seasons at the Asylum, She Climbed Into the Arms of The Universe

This is the last you will hear of my adventures in this new world, dear. As I write I am climbing into the blossomy tree in the courtyard, against the Good Doctor’s instructions. The Good Doctor is calling:come down this instant but I am climbing higher, leaping branch to branch, breaking more teeth than I have. I dangle! I perch! I feed myself bloated on the plumpest leaves, blackest berries, most delicate petals, paperskin stained with fruitblood. I scrape back bark from limb, branch, twig, with barehanded grace. Sunbleached words dry and curl, flake underpen like snow as seasons change around me (did I mention it is the tallest tree known to woman?), but I shall continue until I’ve whittled myself back to earth. Once my nails have unbloodied and resurrected themselves, once these sentences have turned to soil, I will finally understand: I am here.

matthew savoca does not know who arrested development is, what?

what are people being for halloween?

please don't say balloon boy. i'm going to go as blogger. i would really like it if you would tell me what you are going to be in the comments section of this post. omg, also, send me pictures at kcregina@gmail.com and i'll do a halloween post on monday!

if you're not dressing up, just make things up and send me stolen images that you find in the street.

it would be cool if people went as their moms. maybe i'll go as my mom.

okay. happy halloween!

more important stacey levine news

a bootleg of stacey's new book the girl with brown fur is out now from publication studio. they're making it available at stacey's request until the publisher is able to print and fulfill orders. i've started reading this book and it's amazing. it's totally worth the 20 dollars. also, bootlegs are cool.

missed review, foiled by google

ryan manning wrote an excellent review of "i am in the air right now" back in august and i missed it somehow. google alerts, you have failed me.

my favorite part is the part about meeting my book as a female human at the post office and thinking about the impossibility of achieving domestic status with it/her. i think about the impossibility of achieving domestic status ALL THE TIME.

thank you ryan. you are great at writing reviews.

i got things to say

1. wunderkammer is taking over the internet. so far chris killen, megan martin, della watson, matthew savoca, gene morgan and sarah eaton have captured the hearts of the world. today's writers are going to be real, real good. check it out.

2. i had lots of fun at blake butler's book release party last night for scorch atlas. blake is sweet and nice and has the most original dance techniques that exist. sam pink was really funny. he is great at reading. he kind of sounds like jay from jay and silent bob, only a smarter, funnier, less dirty version. i mean this as a good thing. zach dodson of featherproof is very nice and has a good mustache. and amelia gray was great as well. i met a lot of nice people whose full names i don't know so it would be stupid to list them, but thank you nice people for being so nice.

3. i'm reading tonight at the hideout at 6pm for the release of requited. if you're around, come over

4. blake, amelia, zach and others are reading again tonight at quickies. if you don't go to the hideout, go to quickies. i met the ladies that run that reading series last night, and they are cool. you probably want to meet them.

*update* the requited reading was fun, lots of great readers. the submission deadline for the winter issue of requited is november 15th.

wunderkammer kid week

i curated a two-week theme for wunderkammer featuring childhood photos and responses from 28 writers! we're starting out today with chris killen and megan martin. there will be two posts a day for the next two weeks.

upcoming writers include adam robinson, kendra grant malone, matthew savoca, j.a. tyler, justin rands, olivia cronk, sasha fletcher, melissa walker, amanda marbais, h.v. crammond, della watson, evelyn hampton, erin teegarden, catherine maskell, martin wall, gene morgan, sean lovelace, sarah eaton, john wright, jamie gaughran-perez, christopher higgs, andrea rexilius, bianca stone, paula gilovich and sam pink. check it out.

scorch atlas book release

hey, i'm reading at blake butler's book release party this monday with blake, amelia gray and sam pink. the reading is at no coast collective in chicago. all of the information can be found on this expertly designed flyer. come see us!

guess who's a bad azz

my friend, eliot reed

micro-sculptures by willard wegan

i'm going to see this show sometime this week. willard weegan makes sculptures so tiny they can only be viewed under a microscope. his sculptures fit inside the eye of a needle or on the head of a pin. in order to make them he has to slow down his heartbeat in a meditative state and sculpt in-between pulses.

what in the world.

my grandpa

my grandpa, edward estes, was born on sept 6, 1923 in kentucky. he died this morning. he was married to my grandma for 62 years. he was my favorite storyteller and photographer. here are some of his pictures. he will be very missed.

gustaf 3

i just ordered a copy of gustaf 3. gustaf is a journal that should never die. if you had it in your hands right now you would know how cool it is. you can get issue 3 by paypaling 12 dollars to gustafmag@gmail.com. it costs 10 dollars to ship the magazine from norway, so audun is only "charging" two dollars. that is crazy. gustaf!

sometimes when on fire II

sometimes when on fire i think

“i have water, i am water, what is water”

sometimes when asleep i think

“i have been here before, where.”

i know i am living life in triplicate.

there are burglars and tornadoes and other

recurring characters. there is a man playing terror.

when a fire sweeps the house i think

“he will save us, he is dead, this is why he can.”

i reach for a hand towel but instead use my own wedding gown

to douse the flames. someone is standing in the doorway, on fire,

i think “what house is this.”

omg another book

i just pre-ordered heather christle's upcoming book the difficult farm. heather is probably my favorite "emerging" writer right now. what is happening in book heaven, all of its angels are coming to earth. i don't know, i've had a lot of coffee.

have you already read this?

it is funny. most of the people i know on the internet.

important stacey levine news, listen

a tiny number of copies of the girl with brown fur are now available at powells. the publish date on this book has been pushed back so many times, and now only like 30 copies are available for some reason, but i ordered mine and it's actually coming!

also, robert lopez's new book kamby bolongo mean river is due out september 15th!

a happier time for books may never come again

i like

sasha
fletcher

obama art week at wunderkammer

copies of i am in the air right now are now at quimby's bookstore. if you live in chicago you can go there and read it and then look at comics because they have a lot. today i bought black hole by charles burns. if you have chapbooks or zines or comics and want to sell them on consignment to quimby's, you can do it here.

also, i have an interview at gustaf. a lot of those interviews are funny.

do non-chicago people know about the printer's ball? it's next friday. i think it's going to be pretty good. you should come over if you can.

i went to the wicker park fest today. i mainly go to street festivals to see all the dogs and children. there were a lot of dogs out today, it was great.

a poem for megan martin

A Supermarket In California - Allen Ginsberg

what i've been doing

1. trying to think of a theme to curate a week on della watson's wunderkammer. right now i am thinking about asking writers for pictures of them as children in little league or dance/gymnastics. doesn't almost everyone have a picture like this? don't you wish there were pictures of an 8 year old allen ginsberg in his softball uniform? i am thinking of the next generation. writers: would you send me a picture like this?

2. learning "swagcab" (that means slang) from my students. so far i've learned, "put him on blast," "fake decent," "tagged" and "pop." email me for definitions and to see these words used in a sentence.

3. reading poems on the poetry foundation's 'poetry tool'

4. thinking about how awesome heather christle is. look look look look

5. watching season one of the boondocks on dvd

6. growing out my hair. looking for bobby pins. no matter how many i buy, i can never find one. it is the same with chapstick and batteries.

7. listening to the letting go by bonnie billy

8. traveling around the midwest to places like indiana and iowa

9. writing down stories that my grandpa tells me. they are all pretty great. email me if you want to hear the one about the little ant, the big ant and the cracker crumb.

10. sitting outside in the warm and feeling ok

**update**

i've received the first childhood little league/dance/gymnastics photo from andrea rexilius, a tiny ballerina. andrea is the author of the chapbook to be human is to be a conversation and editor of parcel. you can see her work here here and here.

writers, send me your pictures! here, i will start:

strange things have been happening to me because of B complex vitamins. i feel uncharacteristically positive. i feel so positive that i twitch at night, smiling instead of sleeping. i am looking for apartments and i feel certain that i will find the perfect place for the perfect price and my future will be wonderful. what is happening.

ryan manning made a video with my weird embarrassing voice. thank you ryan.

books i read this week and i liked them

stacey levine

has a blog now! the internet is so happy about it...

bonnie billy i will see you

i'm going to see will oldham on friday in columbus, ohio, hurray.

the arrival

i went to the printer's row book fair today with megan and got the arrival by shaun tan. art spiegelman blurbed it, saying that it's a "wordless story that uses the language of silent cinema and the picture-story traditions that predate comic books," and that this "masterfully rendered tale about the immigrant experience is a documentary magically told by way of Surrealism." i really love this book. i like that tan created "anonymous" cultures and that a lot of the images in the story don't necessarily "stand" for something, but instead give the emotion of something. tan says this:

"I am rarely interested in symbolic meanings, where one thing ‘stands for’ something else, because this dissolves the power of fiction to be reinterpreted. I’m more attracted to a kind of intuitive resonance or poetry we can enjoy when looking at pictures, and ‘understanding’ what we see without necessarily being able to articulate it. One key character in my story is a creature that looks something like a walking tadpole, as big as a cat and intent on forming an uninvited friendship with the main protagonist. I have my own impressions as to what this is about, again something to do with learning about acceptance and belonging, but I would have a lot of trouble trying to express this fully in words. It seems to make much more sense as a series of silent pencil drawings."

  you can see more pictures here.

i really like cate marvin.